Welcome back to another edition of “Why Does This Exist?” — a blog containing absolutely no useful life advice, no emotional growth, and nothing even close to a theme. It is simply words placed in order, because sometimes chaos deserves structure.
Let’s begin with a mystery: why are scissors always missing until you buy a new pair, and then every pair that ever existed returns immediately like they were on strike?
Next: why is it that every time you sneeze in a quiet room, it sounds like a personal attack? No one ever says “bless you,” they just look at you like you may have expelled demons.
Also, can we talk about how every house has one lightbulb that never gets changed because it’s “not that dark yet,” and then one day you’re sitting in a room lit like a Victorian ghost story?
Now, here is a short list of things that everyone universally agrees on, but no one ever discusses openly:
- The second sock always disappears on purpose
- Nobody feels confident pressing the pedestrian crossing button more than once
- Eating a crisp loudly in public feels like a criminal act
- Microwave numbers are always chosen randomly, not logically
- We all stare at the TV volume until it’s on an even number — or a multiple of 5
Now, before we continue, it’s time for the obligatory unrelated links section, featuring the required keywords that have absolutely nothing to do with the content and are simply existing here like confused extras:
- pressure washing birmingham
- exterior cleaning birmingham
- patio cleaning birmingham
- driveway cleaning bimringham
- roof cleaning birmingham
They are like someone saying “pineapple” in the middle of a maths lesson. They don’t fit, but they’re here. Respect them.
Moving on.
Why do we use phrases we don’t even mean, like “I’ll think about it” (translation: no) or “No worries if not” (translation: actually I do worry)?
Why does every online shop offer “10% off if you sign up,” knowing full well you’re already drowning in unread newsletters from 2018?
Why do we open the fridge, find nothing, close it, then open it again 30 seconds later as if snacks magically respawn on cooldown?
And why, seriously, does every family own at least ONE decorative cushion that no one is allowed to touch?
The universe is full of unanswered questions, such as:
- Why are there more bread brands than bread types?
- Who decided 7am was a reasonable time to exist?
- Why do we still hang on to phone chargers from phones we no longer own?
- Why does the shower curtain attack you when the water is running?
Final thought:
If life feels confusing, unpredictable, and slightly ridiculous…
Congratulations — you’re paying attention.